Wet Back The Soggy Duck (Signed Copy)

Brace yourself for the unapologetically absurd story you didn’t know you needed in your life. Wet Back: The Soggy Duck is here to soak your brain in questionable humor, drenched in wordplay, and marinated in bad life choices. This illustrated gag book is what happens when dark humor meets ducks who should really stop trying to make life work on their own terms.

Meet Wet Back, the duck who has one tragic flaw: he’s not waterproof. That’s right—a duck that can’t resist drowning his dreams, ambitions, and self-esteem in every body of water he flaps his soggy wings toward. While other ducks glide gracefully across ponds and lakes, Wet Back bobs in and out of misery like your drunk uncle at a family barbecue.

Wet Back’s life is a relentless downward spiral. He spends his days hustling spam calls for "Pond Management" under tables to make ends meet, all while being ruthlessly mocked by the flock. "Still dripping, Wet Back?" they jeer, feathers fluffed with superiority. Despite his impeccable Spanish—because, yes, this duck is bilingual—Wet Back can’t seem to catch a break, a date, or even a dry moment.

Enter his only friend: a coyote in a raincoat. Because nothing says, “This duck’s life is a joke” like the companionship of a land predator who’s only slightly less tragic than he is. The coyote cheers Wet Back on, offering sage advice that amounts to little more than, “Life sucks, get used to it.” And boy, does Wet Back get used to it.

The lady ducks, naturally, want nothing to do with him. Rumors swirl about Wet Back’s “genetics,” with accusations flying that his dripping habit might be contagious. The pond becomes a stage for his endless humiliation, from failed dates to his paycheck barely covering his pond rent. He works tirelessly, but his dreams are always one splash away from drowning in reality.

If you’re thinking this story has a happy ending, clearly you’ve never read one of these books before. The moral of Wet Back’s journey is blunt, cruel, and absolutely hilarious: life will crush your dreams and probably drown you in the process. Wet Back is the epitome of "try and fail anyway," a walking metaphor for every bad decision and misplaced hope you've ever had.

Perfect for fans of dark humor, people who enjoy laughing at life’s misfortunes, or anyone looking to ruin the mood at a white elephant exchange, Wet Back: The Soggy Duck will leave you questioning your sense of humor and maybe even your humanity.

So laugh, cry, or just stare in stunned disbelief as Wet Back waddles through life with water and shame dripping down his face. Because in the end, you’re not buying a book. You’re buying the opportunity to send this mess to someone else and ruin their day. And isn’t that what gift-giving is really about?

Go ahead. Dive in. Or don’t—Wet Back already did, and look how that turned out.

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Brad