(a.k.a. Paula Sh*t Everywhere)

If you thought this book was about tidying up or the joys of obsessive cleanliness, congratulations, you’ve been duped. "Polish It Everywhere" is the filthy double entendre you didn’t know you needed in your life. On the surface, it’s a whimsical rhyme about the act of polishing, but just beneath that thin veneer of innocence lies a not-so-subtle nod to a certain someone making a mess… everywhere. Whether you’re in on the joke or blissfully ignorant, this book is a glorious disaster waiting to happen.

From sinks to schools, gyms to zoos, and even a suspicious encounter with Tim, this rhyming catastrophe drags you through a wild ride of inappropriate hilarity. Is it about cleaning? Is it about Paula and her bad life choices? That’s for you to decide—or explain when giving it as a gift.

What’s Inside:

• A Polished Sense of Humor: Innocent on the surface, filthy in context. Lines like “Polish it in the park, polish it after dark,” will make you question everything about Paula and her life priorities.
• Rhyme-Fueled Madness: With verses like “Polish it in a tent, polish it now it’s bent,” this book perfectly walks the line between chaos and cringe.
• Endless Double Meanings: Every page has you asking, “Are we talking about cleaning, or… something else?” (Spoiler: It’s definitely something else.)

Who Needs This Book?

• The friend who laughs at bathroom humor way more than they should.
• Someone named Paula, because why not make this awkward for them?
• The Secret Santa recipient you’d like to never speak to again.
• People who thrive on gag gifts that will confuse, offend, or both.

Use Cases:

• White Elephant Carnage: This book will have your coworkers wondering if you’re a comedic genius or just deeply disturbed.
• Perfect Prank Gift: Hand it to someone with zero context and let the awkward silence speak volumes.
• Bathroom Humor Decor: Leave it in your guest bathroom for peak comedy or absolute horror.
• Paula’s Greatest Hits: Got a friend named Paula? Make their day (or ruin it) with this very personalized gag.

"Polish It Everywhere" isn’t just a book—it’s a conversation you’re not ready to have, wrapped in rhymes you can’t un-hear. Whether it’s a hilarious gag gift or a subtle jab at someone’s messy tendencies, this train wreck of double entendres is perfect for your dark humor collection. Add it to your cart now, because life’s too short to take seriously—and so is Paula.

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Brad