Pets In Trouble: What Did They Do Wrong? (Signed Copy)

Pets In Trouble: What Did They Do Wrong?... A Disciplinary Record Across Multiple Species

Mittens peed in mom's laptop case. Benny rubbed dead raccoon all over his face and came inside afterward as if this was acceptable. The pets in this book have made choices. The choices have been documented. The documentation does not include the pets' side of the story because the pets are not available for comment in a format that would clarify their reasoning, and the reasoning, based on the behaviors documented, would not be sufficient to explain what happened with the laptop case. This is a disciplinary record in illustrated form. The pets are the defendants. The evidence is submitted without argument from the defense.

This adult parody book about pet misbehavior is funny because everyone who has a pet has a specific version of at least one story in this book, and the version they have is worse than they've described it to anyone. The raccoon situation is not the most alarming item in this catalog. The laptop case is not the worst location Mittens could have chosen. The book knows this and documents accordingly, with cartoon art and the resigned humor of a household where the pets have decided that the rules are guidelines.

This Book IS For:

• Pet owners who have a story they tell at parties that begins with "you won't believe what the dog did" and ends with silence
• Anyone who has had to explain to a houseguest what that smell is and what the pet did to produce it
• Fans of animal comedy that is grounded in the specific, real misbehaviors that no training video covers because they shouldn't happen
• Gift-givers who want to give something to any pet owner that will produce immediate and comprehensive recognition

This Book Is NOT For:

• Pet trainers who believe this documentation normalizes poor behavior rather than satirizing it
• People who believe their pet does not and cannot do these things, which is what everyone believes before it happens
• Readers who need their pet characters to be well-behaved enough to remain role models throughout the narrative
• Anyone who currently cannot locate their pet and is reading this with a growing sense of concern

Appropriate For:

• Gifts for literally any pet owner... this works for dog owners, cat owners, the whole spectrum of domestic animal situations
• White elephant exchanges where the category is "anyone who has ever owned anything with fur"
• Gag gifts for the friend who most recently told you a pet story that started with "I can't believe" and ended with structural damage
• Housewarming gifts for new pet owners who do not yet know what's coming but will find this funnier in six months

Why Buy This

The pet gift market is enormous. There are calendars, accessories, branded items, all of it. This book costs less than most of those items and is more honest about the actual lived pet ownership experience than any of them. The pets are in trouble. The trouble is documented. The reason for the trouble remains, as of press time, unclear... because the pets cannot explain and would not explain even if they could, which is part of what makes them pets and part of what makes this funny.

Mittens peed in the laptop case. Benny had the raccoon situation. There are more incidents where those came from, and they are all in this book, and every person who has ever had a pet will recognize at least one of them as something that happened to them or will happen to them or has happened in a neighbor's home that they heard about. Buy it. Give it to a pet owner. Watch them read it and say "mine did something similar once" and then explain what it was. The book is the prompt. The story is already there.