Humpty Dumpty: Discovers Workplace Misconduct (Signed Copy)

Humpty Dumpty Discovers Workplace Misconduct... HR Cannot Put This One Back Together Again

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty got a new job. And on Humpty Dumpty's first week, before he'd even updated his LinkedIn profile to reflect the new position, Humpty Dumpty learned that not all walls are physical, some walls are professional boundaries, and a colleague named Kelly has received information about a snake in someone's pants that is going directly to HR on Monday. The fall is not the problem anymore. The fall, in retrospect, was the easy part. This book documents Humpty's new professional challenges with the tone of someone who cannot believe what is happening and yet absolutely can.

This adult parody book takes a nursery rhyme icon and places him in the contemporary workplace with all the specific horrors that implies. The harassment policy exists. The HR department has a form. Humpty is learning what the form is for. Illustrated in cartoon art with the resigned energy of someone on their second mandatory training session of the month, this book documents a corporate environment that no nursery rhyme has ever had the courage to address until now.

This Book IS For:

• Anyone who has ever sat through a mandatory workplace training and thought "this exists because someone did something"
• Office workers who have had a HR interaction that was less the helpful resolution experience it was presented as
• Fans of parody that takes beloved characters and deposits them in recognizably awful modern situations
• Gift-givers who want something perfect for an office secret santa that says something true about office life

This Book Is NOT For:

• HR professionals who find humor at the expense of their department's essential and underappreciated work misguided
• Anyone currently navigating an active workplace situation and not yet far enough away from it to laugh
• Readers who need Humpty's story to end in a settlement that fully reflects the emotional damages
• People in management who recognize the behavior in this book from somewhere specific and are not ready to laugh about that yet

Appropriate For:

• Office Secret Santa... the most perfect office Secret Santa book that exists and you will not find a better one
• White elephant exchanges at the office holiday party where this hits different with wine
• Farewell gifts for colleagues leaving a workplace environment they found instructive in ways they didn't plan
• Gag gifts for anyone who works in HR and has seen everything this book describes and needs to laugh about it

Why Buy This

The office holiday party is already a minefield of professional obligation and social performance. This book, given at that party, is a gift that acknowledges reality. It says: we all know what this place is like. We are all managing. Here is a book about Humpty Dumpty in HR trouble that articulates this environment more accurately than the annual company newsletter has ever managed. That honesty is worth the cost of the book.

The all the king's horses and all the king's men failed to put Humpty together again. The HR department's documentation process has not gone significantly better. The snake in the pants situation remains unresolved pending a formal investigation. The book costs less than the legal consultation that several people in this story are about to need. Buy it. Read it before the next mandatory training. It's preparation.