Hugh Jayness (Signed Copy)
Hugh Jayness (Signed Copy)
Hugh Jayness
is a fully illustrated, children’s-book-looking, adults-only parody about a brilliant doctor saddled with an unfortunate name you should probably say out loud once and then pretend you didn’t. Drawn in sweet, candy-colored panels and told in tight little rhymes, this not-for-kids story follows a medical prodigy who studies the shadowy arts of proctology with professional pride, latex at the ready, and the kind of bedside manner that says, “You’re fine… probably.” It’s equal parts nursery-rhyme innocence and cynical bathroom humor... because the world is on fire and sometimes the only reasonable response is to laugh at a butt joke like a dignified hyena.
It’s not trying to change your life. It’s trying to make you snort-laugh and momentarily forget that you answered work emails at 1 a.m. The joy here is simple: page after page of bright cartoon chaos where a capable doctor meets unglamorous problems with deadpan enthusiasm. Expect dim lighting, squeaky gloves, awkward small talk, and rhymes that march confidently toward punch lines you’ll see coming and still laugh at anyway. If you’re hunting for a tasteful meditation on the human spirit, you overshot... try the bookstore three blocks over. If you want a shamelessly childish giggle wrapped in adult wit, welcome to the waiting room.
What you’re actually buying:
not wisdom, not enlightenment, and certainly not medical advice. You’re buying the experience of laughter... quick, rude, and cathartic. You’re buying the moment a friend picks it up, reads the title out loud, and realizes the pun has been hiding in plain sight. You’re buying an instant conversation piece for your coffee table, your bathroom shelf (don’t act shocked), or the office desk where decorum goes to die right next to the stapler you never return.
Inside this ridiculous little treasure you’ll find:
• Cheerfully innocent art that absolutely knows what it’s doing.
• Rhymes that skip along like a playground chant, then trip over something unspeakably adult.
• A doctor who treats awkwardness like a colleague and dignity like a polite suggestion.
• The reassuring knowledge that someone, somewhere, is having a weirder day than you.
Perfect for gifting when you need a present that says “I tried, but not too hard”:
•
White elephant exchanges
where the competition is a scented candle and a screaming goat figurine.
•
Secret Santa
chaos at work... watch HR pretend they didn’t laugh.
•
Birthdays
for friends who rank humor as “lowbrow but effective.”
•
Bachelor and bachelorette parties
where classy went home hours ago.
•
Housewarmings
(especially for apartments with suspicious plumbing).
•
Gag gifts
for siblings who deserve light emotional damage.
•
Graduations
... med students, nurses, GI folks, and anyone who owns more hand sanitizer than furniture.
•
Office goodbye parties
when Karen “will be missed” and you need proof of minimal effort.
•
Holidays
when your family has stopped pretending to be normal.
Also ideal for:
best friends with a dark streak, couples who roast each other for sport, roommates who think the bathroom is a library, and that one coworker who forwards you memes at 6:02 a.m. You know the one. Slip this book into a gift bag, add tissue paper like you mean it, and you’ve got five to fifteen minutes of premium, immature laughter... renewable every time someone new sees the cover.
Tone check:
irreverent, a little crass, and very aware of its own stupidity. The narrator writes like a reformed hall monitor who finally snapped. The jokes wink. The rhymes behave… until they don’t. And the art stays adorably wholesome while describing situations that are, diplomatically speaking, “not for story time.” If that offends you, that’s okay... this book will be fine without you; it was raised to expect abandonment.
Important clarifications, in case your aunt asks:
• This is a parody picture book made for adults.
• No explicit imagery. The humor is suggestive, not graphic... like a sitcom that graduated to cable.
• No politics, no sermons, no inspirational quotes in cursive. Just jokes. Many, many jokes.
Look, you’re not going to frame it above the fireplace. You’re going to flip it open, laugh too loud, close it, then open it again and read your favorite rhyme to the nearest victim because misery loves company and comedy does too.
Hugh Jayness
is the literary equivalent of pressing the elevator’s “close door” button: you know it doesn’t help, but it makes you feel better. If you want refined art, buy a landscape. If you want a guaranteed grin delivered in glossy, colorful pages, let the good doctor see you now. Bring your sense of humor. Leave your dignity in the lobby.
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Thanks for your support.
Brad
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