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How to Network at Swinger Parties (Signed Copy)

How to Network at Swinger Parties (Signed Copy)

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Regular price Sale price $29.00
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How to Network at Swinger Parties is a proudly unhelpful, ridiculous adults-only picture book that mashes corporate small talk into the least corporate settings imaginable. Drawn in a cheerful children’s-book style (because nothing says “career development” like cartoon smiles and suspiciously wholesome art), this parody follows one overeager schmoozer as he tries to climb the ladder while everyone else is busy climbing each other. Think name tags, red cups, painfully earnest icebreakers, and a misplaced belief that networking never sleeps. You’ll see “tips” like asking about someone’s job in a hot tub, comparing productivity hacks while a futon creaks under stress, swapping favorite business books mid-rope knot, and delivering motivational speeches in nothing but a towel. The humor is cynical, self-deprecating, and just crass enough to sting, because adulthood already hurts so we may as well laugh at the mess.

This is not a real networking guide. Please do not try to hand out business cards while someone is reaching for a blindfold. It is satire for people tired of hustle culture who still somehow own three unread leadership books and a mug that says “rise and grind.” The drawings are cute, the captions are shameless, and the clash is the point. This book makes no promises about success or growth, it simply delivers the joy of cracking up, whether alone or with friends. You are not buying wisdom, you are buying the experience of laughing at something dumber than your week.

Who is it for? The coworker who treats happy hour like LinkedIn Live. The couple who host suspicious “game nights.” Your single friend who brings a portfolio to brunch. Your boss with 50 lanyards and no soul. Your book club sick of 500-page trauma novels. Newlyweds who would rather laugh than light candles. Divorced friends who need a victory grin. Anyone with a desk, a sense of humor, and a tolerance for satire.

When does it make the best gift? White Elephant exchanges (silence followed by laughter). Secret Santa (perfect if HR is either relaxed or nonexistent). Bachelor or bachelorette parties (because toasts are forgettable but this is not). Housewarmings (pairs well with wine and regrets). Birthdays for the “has everything” friend. Valentine’s Day for couples fluent in sarcasm. Anniversaries for people who laugh first and apologize later. Stockings, gag gifts, and “I messed up” offerings when flowers won’t cut it.

Every page lands the same delightful punch: ambition colliding with consensual mayhem. Expect faux-wholesome panels about scheduling follow-up coffee dates at 2 a.m., probing “how you got into your field” during cuddle piles, and comparing badges like trophies in places you should not be comparing anything. The art is cute on purpose, the captions are aggressively unhelpful, and the vibe is “career day lost its chaperones.” This is the coffee-table book that makes guests question your life choices, then borrow it anyway.

How to Network at Swinger Parties will not fix your career or streamline your workflow. What it will do is make you laugh, snort, and share pages with people who deserve to see you at your most unprofessional. That is the entire point: a stack of jokes drawn with fake sincerity, designed to give you grins per minute. If you are allergic to hustle sermons and allergic to boredom, this paperback is your next guilty pleasure.

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Brad

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