Happy Birthday: Nobody Cares (Signed Copy)

Let’s be honest—birthdays are a joke, and not a particularly funny one. If you’re tired of the forced cheer, the fire hazards disguised as cakes, and the same tired “thoughtful” gifts from people who clearly put no thought into anything, then this is the book you need to ruin someone else’s special day. "Happy Birthday, Nobody Cares" is the literary equivalent of showing up late to a party you didn’t want to attend, wearing sweatpants and carrying a gas station gift card.

What’s Inside:

• Lyrical Spite: A series of hilariously cruel birthday poems that walk the tightrope between funny and existential crisis.
• Bitter Truths in Rhyme: Lines like “Your birthday’s arrived, and we’d rather be dead,” and “Here’s a basic book, now get off my back,” remind the reader they’re not special, no matter what Hallmark says.
• A Perfectly Thoughtless Gift: This book proudly declares to the world, “I bought this in the checkout line five minutes ago,” so you can skip the pretense of actually caring.
• Guaranteed to Cause Awkward Laughter: Because nothing says “Happy Birthday” quite like reminding someone they’re an aging blip in a low-budget simulation.

Who Needs This Book?

• That friend who swears they “don’t need anything for their birthday” but secretly loves chaos.
• A coworker you barely know but feel obligated to acknowledge.
• Your emotionally distant cousin who will never invite you to anything again.
• YOURSELF, because you’re probably a terrible person for even considering this as a gift.

Use Cases:

• Slip it into a pile of real gifts to create the ultimate WTF moment.
• Hand it over during a white elephant exchange for maximum regret.
• Leave it anonymously on someone’s desk and watch the confusion unfold.
• Pair it with a cheap cupcake for a fully half-assed birthday sabotage.

"Happy Birthday, Nobody Cares" isn’t just a book—it’s a philosophical statement wrapped in a joke gift. It’s a nihilistic celebration of the fact that none of us matter, and that’s exactly why we can laugh about it. So go ahead, add it to your cart, and prepare to ruin someone's special day in the most hilarious way possible. After all, you only turn [insert age here] once, and who really cares?

Free worldwide shipping!

Get your autographed copy of this book today. I have a limited number of these in stock. Once they're gone, they won't show up here anymore.

If you're just looking to grab a copy of the book on Amazon here are the links.

• United States
• Canada
• UK
• Australia
• Germany
• France
• Spain
• Italy
• Japan

You can choose an optional message to go with your signature.

Thanks for your support.

Brad