Dad's New Doll: You Can Call Her Mom (Signed Copy)
Dad's New Doll: You Can Call Her Mom (Signed Copy)
Dad’s New Doll: A Picture Book for Adults Who Laugh at Terrible Life Choices
If you’ve ever watched a midlife crisis do donuts in the cul-de-sac and thought, “Yep, that tracks,” this book is your new favorite bad influence. Dad’s New Doll is a wicked little parody picture book... sweetly illustrated like story time, written for grown-ups with a dark sense of humor and a high tolerance for awkward family dinners. It’s a rhyming, side-eye, bedtime saga about a father who orders “happiness” with overnight shipping, and the kids who have to live with the tracking updates.
Inside you’ll find glossy, candy-colored art that looks innocent enough... until the jokes detonate. The tale swerves from mall lingerie to casserole-night introductions, park playdates, and that special moment when the “doll” starts acting less like a purchase and more like a problem. It’s satire with a sledgehammer: modern love, consumer cravings, and the world’s worst step-planning all collide in a brisk, bite-size read you can finish between texts from your group chat asking for the tea.
You’re not buying a “book”; you’re buying the twelve to twenty minutes where your brain gets to stop doomscrolling and just cackle at someone else’s chaos.
What You’ll Get (Besides Questionable Morals):
- Rhymes that behave until they don’t. Bouncy verse that marches you right into the punchlines.
- Cartoon art with a mean streak. Classic children’s-book style deployed for grown-up mischief.
- A compact, re-readable gag. Perfect for passing around at parties, then apologizing for later.
- That delicious “did they really print this?” feeling. We did. You’re welcome.
Who Is This For?
- Dark-humor junkies who collect jokes the way other people collect gym memberships.
- Burned-out parents who need five minutes of laughter before the next snack negotiation.
- Adult children who have survived blended-family weirdness and came out sarcastic.
- Office goblins who weaponize coffee breaks with inappropriate read-alouds.
- Friends getting married, divorced, or “it’s complicated.” Yes, it plays in all weather.
Occasions That Deserve this Disaster:
- White elephant exchanges where you’d like to be remembered and mildly blamed.
- Birthdays for the sibling who laughed at your childhood bangs.
- Bachelor/ette parties that need one (1) gloriously poor decision.
- Housewarmings, because every new home needs a questionable book on the coffee table.
- Office Secret Santa, when HR is technically on vacation.
The Vibe: Cynical, self-deprecating, and proudly unserious. We’re not here to fix society; we’re here to roast it on low heat until it’s tender. The narrative stares directly at the mess... online shopping, instant gratification, awkward introductions to the kids, and winks. If you’ve ever been the person who says “this is fine” while everything is clearly not fine, you’ll feel seen. And gently judged.
How to Read It: Pop it open at a party and perform your worst bedtime-voice. Gift it to the friend who insists they’re “so over drama” and then texts you screenshots at 2 a.m. Place it on your coffee table and watch guests pretend they’re not dying to peek. Re-read when life is chaotic and you need to laugh at a fictional family so you don’t cry at your own.
No moral. No tidy bow. Just a fast, funny story that lets you feel a little lighter for a minute. That’s the whole point. Buy it for the art, keep it for the snort-laugh you’ll attempt to hide and absolutely fail to contain. Because sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is hold a ridiculous book and laugh like you mean it.
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Brad
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