Dad Got Crabs (Signed Copy)

Dad Got Crabs: A Cautionary (and Itchy) Tale

What do you get when you cross a wholesome children’s book with an STI scare, a suspicious motel visit, and seafood wordplay? You get “Dad Got Crabs” — a hilariously inappropriate adult cartoon book that looks innocent enough to read to your kids... until you actually open it.

Presented in a bright, colorful, children’s picture book style, this MA-rated gag gift is definitely not for bedtime — unless your bedtime involves uncomfortable family secrets, shady fish markets, and a dad with a little too much explaining to do.

This is not a book for the faint of heart, the easily offended, or anyone who still thinks Dad is a saint. But for everyone else? It’s pure gold.

Here’s what you’ll get:

• A rhyming story full of euphemisms, denial, and scratchy consequences
• Full-page cartoon illustrations that look like a children’s book but scream “White Elephant party winner”
• A painfully funny reminder that seafood and secrecy do not mix
• The perfect cringe-worthy gift for that one friend who loves dark humor and bad decisions

This book is the gift that keeps on itching. Whether you’re looking for the ultimate joke gift or a weirdly specific birthday gift for Dad (especially if he’s got a suspicious tan line and a sudden love of “the shore”), this cringe-fest of a picture book hits the spot.

Perfect for:

• Funny book lovers with a twisted sense of humor
• White Elephant gift exchanges that need a guaranteed laugh
• Gag gifts for coworkers, in-laws, or your gross college roommate
• Christmas gifts for that uncle who laughs too hard at inappropriate jokes
• Bachelor parties or divorce parties (yes, that’s a thing now)
• Anyone who deserves a humor book so uncomfortable, they'll need ointment after reading

Because in the end, we’re not selling a book. We’re selling that moment of shocked laughter — that “I cannot believe someone published this” feeling that lives forever in a person’s memory (and possibly on their coffee table for years of awkward conversations).

“Dad Got Crabs” is crude, clever, and crawling with comedy. It’s not for everyone — and that’s exactly why you’re going to love giving it.

Warning: Contains adult humor, sexual innuendo, and a dad who just won’t stop making it worse.

Buy a copy for yourself. Buy three more as gifts. Then maybe… go get checked.

Free worldwide shipping!

Get your autographed copy of this book today. I have a limited number of these in stock. Once they're gone, they won't show up here anymore.

If you're just looking to grab a copy of the book on Amazon here are the links.

• United States
• Canada
• UK
• Australia
• Germany
• France
• Spain
• Italy
• Japan

You can choose an optional message to go with your signature.

Thanks for your support.

Brad