18 Ways To Tell Kids That Their Parents Died (Signed Copy)

18 Ways To Tell Kids That Their Parents Died... A Practical Guide For Impractical Situations

At some point, someone has to say it. The question is how. This book has curated eighteen approaches, ranging from the gently misleading to the cosmically blunt, each one a different way to deliver the specific information that a child's parents are no longer alive and the child is going to need to process this in approximately the next ninety seconds. Some approaches involve Santa. Some involve Superman. One involves asking how daddy tasted. The guide covers the full range without endorsing any single method as the gold standard, because there is no gold standard, and the guide is honest about that.

This adult parody book is dark humor about the worst conversation anyone ever has to have, rendered in illustrated cartoon form with the cheerful format of a how-to guide that knows exactly what it's guiding you through. It is funnier than it has any right to be. The darkness is the feature, not the bug. One person who stumbled across this called it "degenerate and morally corrupt" which is both a fair assessment and an excellent jacket quote for a book about eighteen ways to ruin a child's day with maximum specificity.

This Book IS For:

• Adults who process the darkest human experiences through the darkest available humor and have made peace with this about themselves
• Fans of illustrated dark comedy that commits fully to a premise most books would not survive the pitch meeting for
• Anyone who has had to deliver devastating news and retreated to dark humor afterward as a survival mechanism
• Gift-givers who want to give a funny book that clears the room and then brings it back together through collective discomfort

This Book Is NOT For:

• People who have ever complained about a comedian "going too far" at a show they chose to attend
• Anyone currently in an active grief situation who has not yet reached the dark-humor-as-coping stage
• Readers who need their humor to remain within the safe, pre-approved perimeter of what the comfort zone committee has cleared
• School counselors who are preparing actual scripts for actual conversations and looking for source material

Appropriate For:

• White elephant exchanges where handing someone this book is the boldest possible move that someone at the table will absolutely make
• Gag gifts for friends who work in healthcare, social work, or any field where dark humor is the professional coping mechanism of record
• Bachelorette parties for the one who has always said "too dark" is not a thing
• Any gift occasion where normal funny books feel timid and you want the room to go briefly quiet before everyone laughs

Why Buy This

There are eighteen ways documented in this book. Eighteen. The author sat down and wrote eighteen of them, with cartoon art for each, and a publisher made it into a book, and you are looking at that book right now. That information alone tells you everything about what you're getting into and whether you're the target audience. If you made it this far without closing the page, you are. Buy it. The book is waiting. The eighteen methods are documented. Some of them involve Superman. That's all anyone needs to know going in.

At this price, you are spending almost nothing to give someone an experience that lasts considerably longer than the price suggests. This is the funny book that people photograph and send to other people who then want their own copy. It circulates. It gets passed around tables. Someone will read one of the eighteen methods aloud and the room will go quiet and then explode and then someone will say "read another one." Buy it for that moment. That moment is worth exactly what this costs.