{"title":"Compendiums (14 Books, One Massive Mistake)","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eWhy settle for one inappropriate book when you can have fourteen bound together in a single ridiculous, oversized volume. That's the pitch, and somehow it worked. This thing crams fourteen of my darkest, most unhinged humor books into one full color collection, complete with their original covers and illustrations, like a greatest hits album for people with deeply questionable reading habits.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eEach book inside runs 200 to 400 pages, so the finished product is genuinely hefty. Good for traumatizing dinner guests, good for shocking coworkers, good as a blunt object when society finally collapses and books become currency or weapons, whichever comes first.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eYes, I signed it. You people keep demanding proof that I personally condoned this, so here it is, in ink, on the first page, like a confession.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eGrab one while they last and enjoy the regret later. That part's free.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"14-of-the-most-terrible-childrens-books-ever-written-signed-copy","title":"14 Of The Most Terrible Children's Books: Ever Written (Signed Copy)","description":"\u003ch4\u003e14 of the Most Terrible Children's Books: Another Adult Parody Compendium That Should Not Exist\u003c\/h4\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis is the dark cousin of the other compendium. Where the first collection leaned into innuendo, this one leans into subject matter that most publishers would not touch with a ten foot pole and a lawyer present. Over 200 pages, fourteen complete books, illustrated in the cheerful visual style of children's picture books and dealing with topics that picture books generally avoid. Inside: Baa Baa Black Sheep, Conjoined Twins, Coronavirus and Friends, Creepy Creatures, Daddy Daughter Date Night, Dead Babies, Donkeybear, Don't Bathe With Uncle Joe, Meet the Hipsters, How Daddy Got an STD, Insomniac and Friends, Meet the Karens, My Racist Gran, and Mommy Got a DUI. We are simply listing the titles. We are not elaborating further.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis is dark satire wearing a children's book costume, and it knows exactly what it is doing. Every topic here is treated with the same chipper cartoon energy as a book about sharing or counting to ten, which is precisely the joke and precisely the problem. Brad Gosse wrote fourteen of these because apparently one was never going to be enough. They are collected here in a single volume so you only have to make one regrettable purchase instead of fourteen separate ones.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch4\u003eThis Book Is For You If...\u003c\/h4\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou have a pitch black sense of humor and have made peace with what that says about you\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou believe a topic being uncomfortable does not automatically mean it cannot be funny\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou want over 200 pages of satire that takes zero hostages and offers zero apologies\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou already laughed at one of these titles before reading the description and you know it\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou collect things that other people specifically ask you to put away before guests arrive\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch4\u003eThis Book Is NOT For You If...\u003c\/h4\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou are currently grieving, recovering, or in any state where dark satire will not land well\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou believe certain topics should never appear near a cartoon illustration under any circumstances\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou are the designated keeper of community standards in your friend group or your office\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou read even one of these titles and felt your blood pressure rise noticeably\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou are buying this for someone without knowing their sense of humor extremely well first\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch4\u003ePerfect Occasions for This Book\u003c\/h4\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe friend group where nothing is off limits and everyone signed an unofficial agreement about it\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWhite elephant exchanges among people who already know exactly what they are getting into\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eA gift for the one person who will actually read all 200 plus pages cover to cover\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnyone who collects deliberately uncomfortable satire as a hobby and is not ashamed of it\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYour own bookshelf, displayed face out, daring anyone to ask you about it\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch4\u003eLook, Just Buy the Stupid Book\u003c\/h4\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis costs about the same as a greeting card that gets read once and thrown away. This book gets opened, someone reads a title out loud, the room goes quiet, and then it does not stay quiet for long. Over 200 pages means there is always another terrible title waiting to be discovered by whoever picks this up next at your next gathering.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis is not for everyone. We are aware. That is genuinely the entire point of the exercise. Brad Gosse wrote fourteen books that needed warning labels and bundled them into one purchase decision. If you have read this far and are still here, you already know whether this belongs on your shelf. Buy the book. Own the decision. Brad already has.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"bradgosse","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44460098715951,"sku":"B08HGTSXV8","price":99.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0698\/1962\/9871\/products\/B08HGTSXV8.png?v=1675972046"},{"product_id":"14-of-the-most-terrible-childrens-books-ever-written-part-2-signed-copy","title":"14 of the Most Terrible Children's Books Ever Written: Part 2 (Signed Copy)","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eWarning: If you're easily offended, congratulations—you've found your final boss.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\r\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003e14 of the Most Terrible Children's Books Ever Written\u003c\/i\u003e is the literary equivalent of lighting a dumpster on fire and roasting marshmallows over it. Brad Gosse returns with another unapologetic abomination of a collection that somehow manages to be even more inappropriate than the last. These are not books for children. Hell, they’re barely books for adults. But they’re perfect for those twisted souls who collect dark humor like it’s a competitive sport.\u003c\/p\u003e\r\r\u003cp\u003eThis isn’t just a gag gift. It’s the kind of joke book that turns Secret Santa into a blood sport and ensures your white elephant exchange ends in either applause or restraining orders. Perfect for coffee tables you don’t want people touching, bathrooms where the reading gets weird, or gift-giving scenarios where you want to traumatize someone in the most memorable way possible.\u003c\/p\u003e\r\r\u003cp\u003eHere’s what’s inside this train wreck of a collection:\u003c\/p\u003e\r\r\u003cul\u003e\r\t\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cb\u003eDead Babies 2:\u003c\/b\u003e A Series of Short Life Stories\u003c\/li\u003e\r\t\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cb\u003eCinnamon:\u003c\/b\u003e A Horse Forced into the Sex Trade\u003c\/li\u003e\r\t\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cb\u003eMurder Hornets:\u003c\/b\u003e From Asian Invasion to Overrated Sensation\u003c\/li\u003e\r\t\u003cli\u003e\u003cb\u003eOK Boomer:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\r\t\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cb\u003eMom’s OnlyFans:\u003c\/b\u003e New Beginnings From Difficult Choices\u003c\/li\u003e\r\t\u003cli\u003e\u003cb\u003eSelf Isolation\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\r\t\u003cli\u003e\u003cb\u003eCamp CoronaVirus\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\r\t\u003cli\u003e\u003cb\u003eYour Life is a Lie\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\r\t\u003cli\u003e\u003cb\u003eSTD’s \u0026amp; You:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\r\t\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cb\u003eWhy Mommy Hits Daddy:\u003c\/b\u003e A Kid’s Guide to Understanding Alcohol\u003c\/li\u003e\r\t\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cb\u003eCandy Van:\u003c\/b\u003e Strangers Come in More Flavors Than You Think\u003c\/li\u003e\r\t\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cb\u003eOub’s Baby:\u003c\/b\u003e The Only Child Your Step-Dad Loves\u003c\/li\u003e\r\t\u003cli\u003e\u003cb\u003eCandy Man Van\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\r\t\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cb\u003eDaddy’s a Simp:\u003c\/b\u003e Don’t Expect Much Inheritance\u003c\/li\u003e\r\u003c\/ul\u003e\r\r\u003cp\u003eThis outrageous collection of novelty stories is not for the faint of heart—but it is for your weirdest friend, your darkest relative, or yourself (if you’re dead inside and proud of it).\u003c\/p\u003e\r\r\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e14 of the Most Terrible Children's Books Ever Written\u003c\/b\u003e: the gag gift that dares you to give it without laughing—or getting slapped.\u003c\/p\u003e\r","brand":"bradgosse","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44460098814255,"sku":"B08LJV1QKX","price":99.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0698\/1962\/9871\/products\/B08LJV1QKX.png?v=1675972050"},{"product_id":"14-of-the-most-terrible-childrens-books-ever-written-part-3-signed-copy","title":"14 of the Most Terrible Children's Books Ever Written: Part 3 (Signed Copy)","description":"\u003ch4\u003e14 of the Most Terrible Children's Books Ever Written: Part 3: The One Where We Stopped Even Pretending\u003c\/h4\u003e\u003cp\u003eBy volume three you would think Brad Gosse had run out of bad ideas. He has not. This compendium collects fourteen of his most requested adult parody books into one volume, illustrated in the same cheerful cartoon style as the previous two, applied here to subject matter that previous editors at previous publishing houses would have quietly walked out of the room over. Inside: Camel Tony, Dad's a Cuck, Dead Babies 3, Furious George, Help Me Step Bro, Mom's Tinder Profile, My Homophobic Dad, Race Wars, Sex Offenders, Sex Toy Story, The Cat That Shat, Thirst Traps, When Parents Go to Jail, and Your Life Is a Lie. These are real titles. We did not make any of this up. Brad did.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis is the third compendium, which means this is now a franchise, which means at some point we all collectively decided this was fine. It is not fine. It exists anyway. Every book inside uses the same trick as the first two volumes, innocent cartoon art delivering content that is anything but, except this time the gloves are fully off and several specific institutions are going to have opinions about that.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch4\u003eThis Book Is For You If...\u003c\/h4\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou bought volumes one and two and are already disappointed in yourself, so why stop now\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou believe nothing should be off limits if it is funny enough to justify the discomfort\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou want fourteen books worth of material that will get this listing flagged eventually\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou already read a few of these titles twice just to make sure you read them correctly\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou are the friend who always pushes things one step further than everyone is comfortable with\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch4\u003eThis Book Is NOT For You If...\u003c\/h4\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou read the title Race Wars and felt your jaw physically tighten\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou believe satire has limits and you have strong, specific, well-documented opinions on where\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou work somewhere that monitors your Amazon purchase history for some reason\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou are still recovering emotionally from volumes one or two of this exact series\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou plan to buy this, read three pages, and immediately write a strongly worded review\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch4\u003ePerfect Occasions for This Book\u003c\/h4\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe one friend group with absolutely no remaining boundaries and no plans to set any\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWhite elephant exchanges where you have decided this is the year you finally win\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eA gift for someone who has read everything else and needs something that goes further\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCollectors completing the full trilogy because apparently that is a thing people do now\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYour own shelf, because you already know exactly what you are buying and why\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch4\u003eLook, Just Buy the Stupid Book\u003c\/h4\u003e\u003cp\u003eSame price as a greeting card. Vastly more content. Vastly more consequences. This book gets handed around a room and the room gets quieter and then significantly louder. Someone will read a title aloud, pause, and decide whether to keep going. They will keep going. Fourteen books means fourteen separate opportunities for that exact moment to happen again.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBrad Gosse has now done this three times. There is no version of events where he stops here. This compendium exists because the first two sold, which is either an indictment of the market or simply how books work. Buy it, give it to someone who has earned it, and let Brad keep doing whatever this is. He clearly is not going to stop on his own.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"bradgosse","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44460098978095,"sku":"B094989996","price":99.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0698\/1962\/9871\/products\/B094989996.png?v=1675972053"},{"product_id":"14-of-the-most-terrible-childrens-books-part-4-signed-copy","title":"14 Of The Most Terrible Children's Books: Part 4 (Signed Copy)","description":"\u003ch4\u003e14 of the Most Terrible 4: We Have Clearly Stopped Trying to Stop\u003c\/h4\u003e\u003cp\u003eVolume four exists, which tells you everything you need to know about how the first three performed and absolutely nothing you wanted to know about Brad Gosse's decision-making process. Fourteen more adult parody books, illustrated in the same disarmingly cheerful cartoon style as every previous volume, applied here to subject matter that gets more specific and more uncomfortable with every passing entry. Inside: Child Services, Cinnamon Visits Glue Factory, Cucumber Curtis Can't Come to Dinner, Why Grandpa Sleeps in the Garage, Humpty Dumpty Discovers Workplace Misconduct, Kluckee the Plant Based Chicken, Mixed Animals, Mom Plus Dad Plus Chad Your Parents Have Formed a Triad, Rich Kids They're Better Than You, Santa's Lil Humper Saves Christmas, Sick Pets, Sofa King, Uncle Bob Can't Wait to Show Me His Knob, and We're Not Camping Mom and Dad Lied We're Homeless. Again, these are real titles. Again, we are simply listing them.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFour volumes in and the formula has not changed because the formula was never the problem. It is the titles that keep escalating. Brad Gosse appears to be working through some kind of list, and we are no longer in a position to ask what is on it. This is innocent picture book art doing increasingly heavy lifting for increasingly specific content, and somehow it still works.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch4\u003eThis Book Is For You If...\u003c\/h4\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou own the first three volumes and have stopped questioning why you keep buying these\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou read the title Sofa King out loud just now and immediately understood the assignment\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou want a gift that proves you have genuinely run out of normal gift ideas\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou are completing the set because that is simply who you have decided to be\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou believe Uncle Bob deserves to be read aloud at full volume in mixed company\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch4\u003eThis Book Is NOT For You If...\u003c\/h4\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou have not yet recovered from volume three and need more time\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou believe four volumes of this is genuinely three volumes too many\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou are buying gifts for a workplace and have somehow forgotten that fact mid-purchase\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou read the words glue factory in this context and felt something shift inside you\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou are the type of person who alphabetizes complaints before submitting them\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch4\u003ePerfect Occasions for This Book\u003c\/h4\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCompleting the collection for the friend who already owns volumes one through three\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWhite elephant exchanges where everyone now expects you to bring exactly this\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eA holiday gift specifically because Santa appears on the cover doing something concerning\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCamping trips, ironically, given one of the included titles addresses that directly\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnyone who has earned the right to know what Sofa King is actually about\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch4\u003eLook, Just Buy the Stupid Book\u003c\/h4\u003e\u003cp\u003eSame price as a card, vastly more regret per dollar spent. This one gets passed around and somebody always lands on Uncle Bob first, reads the title, and has to sit down. Fourteen books means fourteen separate chances for that exact reaction to happen again at every gathering you bring this to for the rest of your natural life.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFour volumes. No end in sight. Brad Gosse has built an entire catalog out of titles that should not work as well as they do, and volume four somehow proves the format has more room to run. Buy it for someone who has already proven they can handle the first three. Let Brad keep going. He clearly intends to.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"bradgosse","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44460099273007,"sku":"B09QNWZVN3","price":99.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0698\/1962\/9871\/products\/B09QNWZVN3.png?v=1675972056"},{"product_id":"14-of-the-most-terrible-childrens-books-ever-written-part-5-signed-copy","title":"14 Of The Most Terrible Children's Books Ever Written: Part 5 (Signed Copy)","description":"\u003ch4\u003e14 of the Most Terrible 5: The Volume That Finally Made Someone's Lawyer Make a Call\u003c\/h4\u003e\u003cp\u003eFive volumes in. At this point Brad Gosse is not stumbling into controversy, he is commuting there. This collection pulls together fourteen of his darkest adult parody titles in one illustrated volume that will make you question several things about yourself in rapid succession. Inside: 18 Ways to Tell Kids Their Parents Died, Buster the Perverted Ghost, Candi's Nuts, Clip Clop the Racist Horse Cop, Gluck Gluck 9000, Ice Cream Man Goes Pee in the Back of His Truck, Mike Hunt Smells Like Fish, Mom Runs Trains on the Weekend with Dad's Friends, My Racist Dog Only Trusts Whites, Slappy Will, Star Whores Sex Workers Across the Galaxy, Sweat Shop Kids Make Everything You Own, There Is No Farm, and Why Daddy Hits Mommy. We need a moment after typing that. We are fine. We are moving on.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eVolume five is where the series stops pulling any punches it may have previously been pulling. There Is No Farm is a guide to explaining euthanasia. Star Whores goes to space. Gluck Gluck 9000 is exactly what it sounds like and we will not be providing clarification. Every page is illustrated in bright cheerful colors that absolutely do not belong anywhere near these topics and that is entirely the point. Brad has been doing this for five volumes now. The art keeps getting better. The subject matter keeps getting worse. This is the deal.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch4\u003eThis Book Is For You If...\u003c\/h4\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou read Gluck Gluck 9000 and your first reaction was recognition rather than confusion\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou believe dark humor is a legitimate coping mechanism and you have tested that theory personally\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou have completed volumes one through four and feel that this is simply what you do now\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou want a gift that communicates something specific about your relationship with the recipient\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou are Star Whores curious and this seems like the most efficient way to find out\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch4\u003eThis Book Is NOT For You If...\u003c\/h4\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou are still processing There Is No Farm on an emotional level and need more time\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou thought volume four was too far and somehow you are still here reading volume five copy\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou work in education, law enforcement, veterinary care, or ice cream vending\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou have children who read over your shoulder and ask questions about everything\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou are the kind of person who reports things and feels good about it afterward\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch4\u003ePerfect Occasions for This Book\u003c\/h4\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAdults who have had a genuinely terrible year and need to laugh at something worse\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWhite elephant exchanges among people who have known each other long enough to survive this\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eA gift for the person in your life who thought nothing could surprise them anymore\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnyone completing the full five-volume set for reasons they do not need to explain\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYour own bookshelf, because at this point you know exactly who you are\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch4\u003eLook, Just Buy the Stupid Book\u003c\/h4\u003e\u003cp\u003eFourteen books. Full color illustrations. Costs about the same as a greeting card that nobody keeps. This volume generates longer silences than the previous four because the titles require a beat to fully land. Someone will read Clip Clop the Racist Horse Cop out loud and the room will need a second. That second is worth the price of admission by itself.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFive volumes of this exist now. Brad Gosse has written more books in this format than most authors write in any format, which is either impressive or a warning sign and possibly both. Buy volume five. Complete the set. Tell nobody how you found this listing. Let Brad handle the consequences. He always does.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"bradgosse","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44460099404079,"sku":"B0BGNGZM8S","price":99.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0698\/1962\/9871\/products\/B0BGNGZM8S.png?v=1675972060"},{"product_id":"14-of-the-most-terrible-childrens-books-ever-written-part-6-signed-copy","title":"14 Of The Most Terrible Children's Books Ever Written: Part 6 (Signed Copy)","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWarning: Side effects may include wheezing laughter, instant regret, and unexpected disinheritance.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\r\u003cp\u003eWelcome to \u003cem\u003e14 of the Most Terrible Children's Books 6\u003c\/em\u003e—a soul-curdling compilation of Brad Gosse's latest literary crimes against common decency. This is volume six, which means you've either survived the first five or you're brand new to this psychological carnival of inappropriate humor wrapped in innocent-looking illustrations.\u003c\/p\u003e\r\r\u003cp\u003eInside, you’ll find 14 painfully stupid, brutally funny, and undeniably terrible “children’s books” including \u003cem\u003e“Becky the Throat Goat,” “Mike Huck,” “Uncle Jeff’s Island,”\u003c\/em\u003e and the freshly inducted \u003cem\u003e“Dad’s Pussy Magnet.”\u003c\/em\u003e No, you can’t unread that. And yes, it’s exactly what it sounds like.\u003c\/p\u003e\r\r\u003cp\u003ePerfect for gag gift collectors, white elephant saboteurs, or that one friend who laughs at funerals, this book is guaranteed to raise eyebrows, ruin friendships, and become the most talked-about thing in your bathroom. Just don’t actually read it to a child unless you're prepared to explain 14 separate lawsuits.\u003c\/p\u003e\r\r\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem\u003e14 of the Most Terrible Children’s Books 6\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e—because humanity’s already circling the drain. Might as well giggle on the way down.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3 data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eFree worldwide shipping!\u003c\/h3\u003e \u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eGet your autographed copy of this book today. I have a limited number of these in stock. Once they're gone, they won't show up here anymore.\u003c\/p\u003e \u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eIf you're just looking to grab a copy of the book on Amazon here are the links.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/dp\/B0F3JPVBYG\"\u003eUnited States\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.ca\/dp\/B0F3JPVBYG\"\u003eCanada\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.co.uk\/dp\/B0F3JPVBYG\"\u003eUK\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com.au\/dp\/B0F3JPVBYG\"\u003eAustralia\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.de\/dp\/B0F3JPVBYG\"\u003eGermany\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.fr\/dp\/B0F3JPVBYG\"\u003eFrance\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.es\/dp\/B0F3JPVBYG\"\u003eSpain\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.it\/dp\/B0F3JPVBYG\"\u003eItaly\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.jp\/dp\/B0F3JPVBYG\"\u003eJapan\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e \u003c\/ul\u003e \u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eYou can choose an optional message to go with your signature.\u003c\/p\u003e \u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eThanks for your support.\u003c\/p\u003e \u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eBrad\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"bradgosse","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51164876734767,"sku":"B0F3JPVBYG","price":99.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0698\/1962\/9871\/files\/5843cad5998d0fce482bcc98d3b3e2b0.png?v=1743770620"},{"product_id":"14-of-the-most-terrible-childrens-books-ever-written-part-7-signed-copy","title":"14 Of The Most Terrible Children's Books Ever Written: Part 7 (Signed Copy)","description":"\u003cp\u003eBrad Gosse is back and worse than ever with \u003cstrong\u003ePart 7\u003c\/strong\u003e of his unholy children’s book saga—because clearly, no one learned their lesson the first six times. Weighing in at a soul-crushing \u003cstrong\u003e320+ pages\u003c\/strong\u003e, this is less a joke book and more a psychological weapon disguised as bedtime stories.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eChildren’s Books 7\u003c\/strong\u003e compiles 14 never-should've-been-written titles into one chaotic collection of gag gift greatness. Perfect for \u003cstrong\u003edark humor lovers\u003c\/strong\u003e, \u003cstrong\u003ewhite elephant destroyers\u003c\/strong\u003e, and people who know better but do it anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIncluded in this beautiful monstrosity:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDrunk Dad: Shows Up to Every Game\u003c\/strong\u003e – the bleacher legend who’s more beer than man.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eYour Mom is Sharyn Cox\u003c\/strong\u003e – a touching story of paternity tests and playground bullying.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCuckolding: With Jack and Jill\u003c\/strong\u003e – nursery rhymes reimagined through the lens of open marriages and public shame.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eThat Guy Jack Innitt\u003c\/strong\u003e – he’s lonely, misunderstood, and spends way too much time in the bathroom.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDiddler On The Roof\u003c\/strong\u003e – if musicals make you uncomfortable, wait till this one starts singing.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMike Hunt 2: Getting Stuffed\u003c\/strong\u003e – he’s back and bringing side dishes nobody asked for.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eSugar Babies: Dad’s Secret Friends\u003c\/strong\u003e – a sweet tale of transactions, secrets, and daddy’s disappearing paycheck.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eRay Ping: The Chinese Miner\u003c\/strong\u003e – a historical deep cut that digs straight into uncomfortable laughter.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eShort Kings: Need Love Too\u003c\/strong\u003e – not all heroes wear lifts, but some definitely should.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHumpy The Pig: Gets an STI\u003c\/strong\u003e – the cautionary tale the petting zoo refused to publish.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBaby in a Hot Car\u003c\/strong\u003e – the feel-bad thriller of the year with all the windows rolled up.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eRatchet Pussy\u003c\/strong\u003e – nine lives, no shame, and a questionable OnlyPaws account.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMike Hawke Gets Hard\u003c\/strong\u003e – P.E. class will never be the same.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eSketchy Joe Has Too Many Brides\u003c\/strong\u003e – one man, one cult, and zero background checks.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis twisted collection of joke books is a gold mine for collectors of \u003cstrong\u003egag gifts\u003c\/strong\u003e, \u003cstrong\u003enovelty books\u003c\/strong\u003e, and \u003cstrong\u003edark humor disasters\u003c\/strong\u003e. Whether you're shopping for the office white elephant, looking to get uninvited from the next family gathering, or just love watching society crumble one page at a time—this book is for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBuy now\u003c\/strong\u003e and give the gift of confusion, discomfort, and uncontrollable laughter. Just don’t read it to your kids unless you're raising future stand-up comics or emotional support clowns.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eFree worldwide shipping!\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eGet your autographed copy of this book today. I have a limited number of these in stock. Once they're gone, they won't show up here anymore.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eIf you're just looking to grab a copy of the book on Amazon here are the links.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/dp\/B0F3TC7RJP\"\u003eUnited States\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.ca\/dp\/B0F3TC7RJP\"\u003eCanada\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.co.uk\/dp\/B0F3TC7RJP\"\u003eUK\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com.au\/dp\/B0F3TC7RJP\"\u003eAustralia\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.de\/dp\/B0F3TC7RJP\"\u003eGermany\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.fr\/dp\/B0F3TC7RJP\"\u003eFrance\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.es\/dp\/B0F3TC7RJP\"\u003eSpain\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.it\/dp\/B0F3TC7RJP\"\u003eItaly\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.jp\/dp\/B0F3TC7RJP\"\u003eJapan\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eYou can choose an optional message to go with your signature.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eThanks for your support.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eBrad\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"bradgosse","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51166987026735,"sku":"B0F3TC7RJP","price":99.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0698\/1962\/9871\/files\/57e3a3151b6335c604f52f96a4b9efdd.png?v=1743863900"},{"product_id":"14-of-the-most-terrible-childrens-books-ever-written-part-8-signed-copy","title":"14 Of The Most Terrible Children's Books Ever Written: Part 8 (Signed Copy)","description":"\u003ch4\u003e14 of the Most Terrible Children’s Books (Adult Parody) – A Gloriously Bad Idea Collected\u003c\/h4\u003e\r\u003cp\u003eYou found it: the book your better judgment warned you about and your inner goblin immediately wanted. This unhinged compendium crams \u003cb\u003e14 brand-new “kids’ books” for adults\u003c\/b\u003e into one gloriously wrong, 300-page parade of pastel chaos. It looks sweet. It reads like a bedtime story. And then the punchlines hit and your coffee shoots out your nose. Consider this a picture book for people who’ve paid taxes, made mistakes, and now cope by laughing louder than their problems.\u003c\/p\u003e\r\u003cp\u003eEach mini-book is written in sing-songy rhyme and illustrated like something you’d read to a first grader… if that first grader had a mortgage and a high tolerance for dark humor. It’s candy-colored satire: cheerful drawings, brutally honest jokes. No sappy morals. No tidy life lessons. Just the relief of a solid, ugly laugh you didn’t have to earn by being a better person.\u003c\/p\u003e\r\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eWhat you’re actually buying:\u003c\/b\u003e not prestige, not enlightenment, and definitely not class. You’re buying the experience of cracking this open, reading three pages in a fake bedtime voice, and watching your friends wheeze, groan, and say “I’m going to hell” between snorts. It’s a coffee-table booby trap, a bathroom library upgrade, a break-glass-in-case-of-Monday emergency chuckle kit.\u003c\/p\u003e\r\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eInside the mayhem:\u003c\/b\u003e fourteen self-contained parodies that poke at holidays, awkward relationships, grown-up regrets, office politics, and everyday disasters. The jokes swing between savage and silly, landing somewhere between “that’s wrong” and “I needed that.” The art is bright and friendly; the humor is… not. That contrast is the joke. That’s why it works. That, and the fact that none of us are okay.\u003c\/p\u003e\r\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eFine print the lawyer begged for:\u003c\/i\u003e This is for adults. It’s satire. It contains spicy language and gleefully poor judgment. If you’re easily offended, please gift it to someone who isn’t and enjoy the quiet.\u003c\/p\u003e\r\u003ch5\u003eWho will love this beautiful mistake\u003c\/h5\u003e\r\u003cul\u003e\r\u003cli\u003eYour most chaotic friend who laughs first and apologizes later.\u003c\/li\u003e\r\u003cli\u003eStand-up comedy fans who want jokes they can hold in their hands.\u003c\/li\u003e\r\u003cli\u003eThe coworker who runs the office meme channel and HR’s blood pressure.\u003c\/li\u003e\r\u003cli\u003eSiblings who weaponize gifts as a competitive sport.\u003c\/li\u003e\r\u003cli\u003eNew parents who need a bedtime story that tells the truth for once.\u003c\/li\u003e\r\u003cli\u003eAnyone whose decorating style is “conversation piece that starts a small fire.”\u003c\/li\u003e\r\u003c\/ul\u003e\r\u003ch5\u003eOccasions that beg for the wrong book\u003c\/h5\u003e\r\u003cul\u003e\r\u003cli\u003eBirthdays (especially milestone ones where denial has stopped working).\u003c\/li\u003e\r\u003cli\u003eWhite Elephant and Secret Santa exchanges you’d rather win than survive.\u003c\/li\u003e\r\u003cli\u003eHousewarmings, engagements, breakups, makeups, and strategic petty gestures.\u003c\/li\u003e\r\u003cli\u003eBachelor or bachelorette parties, retirements, promotions, and “congrats on your new therapist.”\u003c\/li\u003e\r\u003cli\u003eHolidays, because nothing brings a family together like tasteful chaos.\u003c\/li\u003e\r\u003c\/ul\u003e\r\u003ch5\u003eWhy this compendium, not twelve other bad decisions?\u003c\/h5\u003e\r\u003cul\u003e\r\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cb\u003e14-in-1:\u003c\/b\u003e A full season of laughs in one book. Flip to any story and get a complete hit of nonsense.\u003c\/li\u003e\r\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cb\u003e300 pages of illustrated mischief:\u003c\/b\u003e Bright, clean artwork in classic picture-book style, built for dramatic readings.\u003c\/li\u003e\r\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cb\u003eRead it wrong, laugh right:\u003c\/b\u003e Works best aloud in a soothing storyteller voice while your audience reconsiders knowing you.\u003c\/li\u003e\r\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cb\u003eZero homework:\u003c\/b\u003e No continuity, no rules, no moral improvement required.\u003c\/li\u003e\r\u003c\/ul\u003e\r\u003cp\u003eLet’s be honest. You’re not buying literature. You’re buying an excuse to feel better for five minutes at a time. You’re buying a book that turns awkward silences into audible wheezes, a prop for your laziest party trick, a reliable pressure-release valve for days when every email feels like a trap. It won’t fix your life. It will make it more bearable, and sometimes that’s the only adulting that matters.\u003c\/p\u003e\r\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eSuggested use cases:\u003c\/b\u003e leave it on the coffee table and watch your guests incriminate themselves; stash it in the bathroom and create a line; read it at campfires between ghost stories and oversharing; keep it on your desk for emergency sarcasm breaks; wrap it for your friend who “doesn’t want anything” and then cackles for 20 minutes.\u003c\/p\u003e\r\u003cp\u003eIs it for everyone? No. That’s the point. But if your sense of humor is house-trained yet feral, this belongs on your shelf. If you’ve ever laughed at a situation you absolutely shouldn’t have, welcome home. If you want a book that behaves, look elsewhere. If you want a book that misbehaves while wearing a smile, you’ve found your new favorite bad influence.\u003c\/p\u003e\r\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eAdd this reckless, ridiculous anthology to your cart\u003c\/b\u003e and treat yourself or that beautifully unhinged friend to the simple luxury of a loud, cathartic laugh disguised as a children’s book. Because being a grown-up is hard. Laughing at it shouldn’t be.\u003c\/p\u003e\r","brand":"bradgosse","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51837552099631,"sku":"B0FPRQN63F","price":99.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0698\/1962\/9871\/files\/187fbef574d40d6e7c88f4911aec0b87.png?v=1757012289"},{"product_id":"14-of-the-most-terrible-childrens-books-part-9-signed-copy","title":"14 Of The Most Terrible Children's Books: Part 9 (Signed Copy)","description":"\u003ch4\u003e14 of the Most Terrible: An Adult Parody Compendium Nobody Asked For and Everyone Needs\u003c\/h4\u003e\u003cp\u003eSomeone at a publishing house would be fired for this. Fortunately, Brad Gosse answers to no one. This compendium collects 14 of his most aggressively unnecessary adult parody books into a single volume of over 400 pages of illustrated innuendo, double entendres, and cartoon wrongness delivered in the cheerful visual style of picture books. Inside you will find Brenda the BPD Bat, Matt the Autistic Cat, Peggy Peggington Loves to Peg, Mom Likes to be Choked, Hugh Jayness, How to Network at Swinger Parties, Buster Hyman Pops a Cherry, Frosty the Blowman, Dad's New Doll, Crypto Cuck, Nanny Punani, Mike Hum Delivers Cream Pies, Give Ahead Get Ahead, and The Big Hunt. That is a sentence we typed and published.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOver 400 pages. Fourteen books. One terrible decision that somehow becomes more defensible the longer you think about it. Each book is a standalone parody illustrated in full color, built entirely on the premise that innocent-looking cartoon art and deeply committed innuendo are funnier together than they have any right to be. This collection exists. You found it. That probably says something about you that we are not going to say out loud.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch4\u003eThis Book Is For You If...\u003c\/h4\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou already own one of these titles and thought, I wish I had thirteen more of these right now\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou want a single gift that guarantees an entire room goes silent and then completely loses it\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou believe that over 400 pages of illustrated adult parody represents genuine value for money\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou are the kind of person who finishes a Brad Gosse book and immediately needs another one\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou want the coffee table book that ends all further conversation about your personality\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch4\u003eThis Book Is NOT For You If...\u003c\/h4\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou were offended by the title before you even clicked and yet here you still are\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou require your humor to be sophisticated, elevated, or explainable to your employer\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou have a formal complaint already drafted and just need one more piece of evidence\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou think fourteen terrible books combined into one makes them collectively less terrible\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou are a normal well-adjusted person and you took a wrong turn somewhere on this website\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch4\u003ePerfect Occasions for This Book\u003c\/h4\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBachelorette parties where one book was not going to be enough anyway\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWhite elephant exchanges where you intend to win so decisively there is no second place\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eA coffee table book for the home of someone with absolutely no remaining shame\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRetirement gifts for someone who spent decades being professionally appropriate and is finished\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe gift for the person who is impossible to shop for because nothing is ever weird enough\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYour own personal collection because you have made certain choices and you own them\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch4\u003eLook, Just Buy the Stupid Book\u003c\/h4\u003e\u003cp\u003eFourteen adult parody books. Over 400 pages. Brenda the BPD Bat through The Big Hunt, collected in one volume that costs less than a single round of drinks. A greeting card gets thrown out. This gets left on the coffee table. Guests pick it up. Guests do not put it down. Someone reads Frosty the Blowman aloud. Someone else reads How to Network at Swinger Parties in a voice. The evening has now taken a direction and that direction is this book's fault entirely.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBrad Gosse spent years producing individual volumes of this material one deeply questionable book at a time. Now you can own all fourteen in a single purchase, which is either a bargain or a cry for help depending on who is doing the evaluating. Either way, it is over 400 pages of content that technically cannot be argued with. Buy the compendium. Put it somewhere visible. Watch what happens next.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"bradgosse","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":58098068750639,"sku":"B0H4XFV63C","price":99.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0698\/1962\/9871\/files\/fb5186205c3d7a543aff73cb9e6ea7ed.png?v=1782149213"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0698\/1962\/9871\/collections\/Christmas_is_Canceled_3.png?v=1783010309","url":"https:\/\/bradgosse.com\/collections\/humor-book-compendiums.oembed","provider":"Brad Gosse","version":"1.0","type":"link"}